Staplers are red
Our boss’ tie is blue.
It sucks that we have to work
But it would suck a lot more without you.
—Anonymous office employee, 1650
As Valentine’s Day rapidly approaches, we find ourselves scrambling to finalize flower deliveries and rack our brains to remember if so-and-so is allergic to peanuts or loves them. In the midst of this madness, we wanted to take a moment to reflect on the wretched state work would be if our favorite coworker suddenly left our collective of cubes. They are the